FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES CRITIQUE
“acts of service or gifts? run. quality time + touch? that's the one.”
The Lesson
The five love languages framework is largely bunk. Words of affirmation shouldn't be on the list. Everyone likes compliments, nobody says it's their primary language. Quality time and physical touch should be combined. If you're spending quality time without touching, you're doing it wrong. The red flags: if someone says their love language is 'acts of service' (being your unpaid servant) or 'receiving gifts'. Run. These people will never be satisfied until you have no time and no money left. People also lie about their love language. The whole framework is pseudoscientific, like Myers-Briggs. Be skeptical.
Real-World Example
A founder starts dating someone new. They ask about love languages. The person says 'acts of service. I feel loved when you do things for me.' Warning bells. Within weeks they're running errands, handling chores, doing emotional labor constantly. The requests escalate. The founder remembers the rule: that answer was a red flag. They exit. Next relationship: 'quality time together' is the answer. Much healthier dynamic.
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